Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Taylors of Harrogate Scottish Breakfast

  I realize the error in my ways of posing the 'Scottish Breakfast Tea' in 
a photo with my 'Sights of London' mug, but whatevs.  

What you see in the above photo, apart from my inadvertent mixing of countries (I just got the mug and tea and was dying to use both) are tea bag tongs and a Mickey Mouse tea bag holder.  Crucial instruments for this tea.

Apart from rambling on about the pictured tea, I'm also going to spread the holy word of the awesomeness that is tea tongs.

Oh tea tongs, you blessed thing, you.

But first the tea...

Based on my experience, the further you get from the equator, the stronger the tea.  Some of the strongest ones I've had have been either from the Southern regions of Africa to the chilly Northern areas of Scotland.  Of course, maybe the reason for Scotland (and Ireland) having stronger teas is because those are some people who can stereotypically handle their liquor so they need a tea that's just a strong.

The reason for the tea tongs and tea bag holder?  Unlike most teas that need to steep around 3 minutes or more, this one just needs the boiling water poured directly onto the bag and then a few squeezes with the tea tongs.  In under 10 seconds, this thing is strong enough that you'll be playing the bagpipes.

Taste wise, it reminds me of Yorkshire.  Those same rules apply for that tea as well.  They both have the same issue occur when oversteeped: thickness.  You can practically chew the water.  I'd imagine it's the same texture jello gets before it hardens, but alas it has been many moon since I've made jello.  As a tea drinker, it's a terrible feeling.  You can fix it by adding more boiling water and doubling it to two cups, but why go through all that faff if you can just eradicate that problem from occurring with tea tongs.

Tea tongs: the savior of a tea drinkers life.

If you're an avid tea drinker and you partake in stringless bagged teas, why don't you have tea tongs?  Are you a schmuck?  That was harsh, I know, but it's not like you won't get your use out of them.  The tea bag holder is optional.  You can simply dispose of you teabag in whatever manner you usually do without the need of this middle-man, but for the purpose of presentation, it's a more sophisticated option.  And most of the traditions of tea are based with sophistication, class, and pomp in mind.  You can't do that dripping your way to a garbage can.  And if you thought "well I could just bring the tea pot to the garbage and dispose of it without making a mess", then you didn't really think that through with the 'classy' part of your brain.  Dripping tea along the floor as you hurry to the garbage lacks a lot of sophistication on your part, but bringing the tea pot to hover above garbage while you throw it away?  That's gross.  Don't do that.

So don't be a drippy jester when you can be a sophisticated ass mo-fo.  Get some tea tongs.  And go enjoy some Scottish Breakfast tea you kilt-clad, high-society type person.  Cheers!

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