Friday, January 31, 2014

Wisdom of the Ancients Verba Mate Chai

You know when you're in the dollar store and you see a toy and you know that there's something off about it but you can't place your finger on it straight away?

And you do a double take and then realize that it is just a terrible excuse for the original?

Well, here is the tea form of that:

My husband is creating two tea-oholics at his job.  It's a thing us tea drinkers do.  Kind of like Jehovah Witnesses but with a delightful beverage and none of that annoying door bell ringing and bible thumping.  We simply say, "You there?  Yes, you!  I never see you drinking tea or talking about how great tea is.  Let me pour the contents of this tea pot down your throat and show you what you've been missing!"  And then we wait with baited breath for the receiver of our tactics to get that dazed-out, crack-head look and thank us for opening up their world.  It usually never happens to that effect, but a gal can dream.
Among my husband's two tea grasshoppers, is one that brought in some tea he took from his mother.... who apparently lacks taste buds.  He traded one of his teas for one of my husband's delectable Darjeeling teas - being sure to emphasize that it is indeed the champagne of teas.  The one that he traded for was this chai.  Now, my husband does not like chai, so this one came to me with absolutely no warnings.

Upon steeping, I could tell there was something off about the smell, but couldn't pin point it.  Then the taste - it was off and contained a thickness of something but I couldn't tell what it was.  I chugged it like one would a medicinal liquid and then went on the interwebs to try to find what it was that was so awful about this tea.  Then I saw it.  If I had seen the box before drinking, I would have known.  And not being the type to vandalize my delicious tea, I wasn't adept at recognizing the horrific treatment that this tea received prior to packaging.  

It contains stevia leaves.  

The apparent Wisdom of the Ancients lack all respect for tea and its drinkers by poisoning it with sweetness.  This may be well and fine for some who take sweeteners in their teas - those whackadoodles.  But I for one am a puritan, only drinking my tea plain.  No milk.  And absolutely NO sweetener.  To take away the tea drinkers choice in such delicate matters of the palate is a crime that should be punishable by something very unpleasant.

So if you are on the search for a good chai, I implore you to steer clear of these tea blasphemers!