Thursday, October 2, 2014

Of Love and Loss

When a loved one passes, you never really anticipate it.  You fall out of your routine, you try to balance your life, and you attempt to not focus on the impact that the loss makes on your family.

Everyone follows through with actions most suitable to their own needs, while trying to support each other on the same journey.  For me, I stopped blogging.  I had a blog planned for that week.  It was going to be a rant about the tea at hospitals and how it was inhumane to offer only generically repulsive options.  Never thought that tea that I stole from the hospital that day would end up holding a greater, more sentimental value.  Suffice to say, I won't be drinking it, and not just because it tasted vile.

We also look at our lives and the people within it.  Use a more observant eye to think of who our truest friends are, and who the toxic ones are.  The toxic ones, the ones who always have to ruin your day.  They'll try to make you feel bad about yourself, they'll try to out do you in everything in a competition that you never signed up for, and they use the hollowest of words to comfort you in times of need and strife.  It's not until something drastic that you decide that you really don't need them in your life.

You also see who true family is.  Some family will make the death of someone solely about them and how they're affected by it.  No one knows their pain, and no one hurts as much as they do - even if that's far from the truth.  The selfishness of their mourning takes away your sympathy for them.  They never had any for anyone else to begin with, so it's not that hard to do.

It can strengthen bonds that you didn't think could get any stronger - ie, me and my husband.  Or make your bonds with others something nearly tangible - ie, my relationship with a few friends that have always been a great, but have become so much more than I thought possible.  They become family.  Replacing people that you've seen the true colors of and make you realize that sometimes water can actually be thicker than blood.

I never stopped drinking tea, though.  That part of my routine continued on.  It's comforting and warm, like a hug.  So I might not have blogged since May, but I'll try to come back into my routine.

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