Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Teatulia Earl Grey

Welp, gotta do it.  Gotta bully the good guys.  Sometimes, the good guys just leave you know choice.  Just think of me as Khan or Loki.  You can't hate me because I'm not that bad.  My intentions are good, but just for me.  These good guys may not like it, but they had it coming to them.

They really brought it on themselves.

Look at this canister of tea.  They make sure to talk about the canister on the label that's on the canister.  Teatulia felt the need to explain themselves.  Like how Superman explained the "S" on his costume in Man of Steel.  "Due to the handcrafted nature of our packaging, no two eco-canisters are alike.  Please recycle."  Oh, you do-gooders.

They don't stop there, though.  No siree.  They delve much deeper in their do-gooder nature.

Here are some points they make sure to emphasize about themselves on said eco-canister:

Organic: "Grown naturally.  We partner with like-minded single gardens to ensure each cup is perfectly balanced."

Goody two shoes.

Eco:  "Compostable, from the canister to our stringless, tagless bags."

You already tooted your own horn about your canister, you saps.

Doing Good:  "The Teatulia Cooperative continues to improve the lives of thousands of women, men & children."

They then continue on to their superhero catchphrase.... "It's time to do things better."

This is the part that really grates my cheese:

Taste the Goodness:  "Smooth & rich with no bitterness.  We brag about the flavor of our teas."

You haven't earned those bragging rights.  Not.  One.  Bit.

So you're USDA certified organic.  And you're Rainforest Alliance certified.  And you cost about $6 for 30 tea bags because of all these certified, do-gooder, 'I'm better than you' claims.  Too bad you're the blandest Earl Grey I've ever had.  Is there even any bergamot oil in this!?

Your ingredients list, still not letting up on all the 'look at me and how much better I am than you' says it's made of "organic black tea and natural bergamot oil", but I can't taste the bergamot that much if at all.

I like my Earl Grey balanced, and this is yet another one of those companies that thinks organic teas shouldn't have the same bold flavors as the average joes.  

If you solely care about organics, then by all means, pick this up at Target where I found it.  However, if you don't want to punish your taste-buds, then pick up my favorite Earl Grey which is also at Target.  Harney & Sons Supreme Earl Grey.  You'll be thanking me later for bashing this cape-wearer.