Wisdom of the Ancients Verba Mate Chai

You know when you're in the dollar store and you see a toy and you know that there's something off about it but you can't place your finger on it straight away?

And you do a double take and then realize that it is just a terrible excuse for the original?

Well, here is the tea form of that:

My husband is creating two tea-oholics at his job.  It's a thing us tea drinkers do.  Kind of like Jehovah Witnesses but with a delightful beverage and none of that annoying door bell ringing and bible thumping.  We simply say, "You there?  Yes, you!  I never see you drinking tea or talking about how great tea is.  Let me pour the contents of this tea pot down your throat and show you what you've been missing!"  And then we wait with baited breath for the receiver of our tactics to get that dazed-out, crack-head look and thank us for opening up their world.  It usually never happens to that effect, but a gal can dream.

Among my husband's two tea grasshoppers, is one that brought in some tea he took from his mother.... who apparently lacks taste buds.  He traded one of his teas for one of my husband's delectable Darjeeling teas - being sure to emphasize that it is indeed the champagne of teas.  The one that he traded for was this chai.  Now, my husband does not like chai, so this one came to me with absolutely no warnings.

Upon steeping, I could tell there was something off about the smell, but couldn't pin point it.  Then the taste - it was off and contained a thickness of something but I couldn't tell what it was.  I chugged it like one would a medicinal liquid and then went on the interwebs to try to find what it was that was so awful about this tea.  Then I saw it.  If I had seen the box before drinking, I would have known.  And not being the type to vandalize my delicious tea, I wasn't adept at recognizing the horrific treatment that this tea received prior to packaging.  

It contains stevia leaves.  

The apparent Wisdom of the Ancients lack all respect for tea and its drinkers by poisoning it with sweetness.  This may be well and fine for some who take sweeteners in their teas - those whackadoodles.  But I for one am a puritan, only drinking my tea plain.  No milk.  And absolutely NO sweetener.  To take away the tea drinkers choice in such delicate matters of the palate is a crime that should be punishable by something very unpleasant.

So if you are on the search for a good chai, I implore you to steer clear of these tea blasphemers!

Harney & Sons Pumpkin Spice

Last month, I noticed that the local Target store got in a few Autumn/Winter teas from Harney & Sons.  Harney & Sons is one of those brands that you can’t go wrong with (or so I thought).  They’re always so delicious and well balanced.  Two teas instantly got my attention and promptly made their way into my shopping buggy.  This is one of them.  It’s described as being “Herbal Red Bush with Pumpkin and Spices”.  This sounded like the perfect autumn tea to be enjoyed with cool weather, pumpkin candles burning, and your typical pumpkin cakes and sweets. 

Upon opening it, you smell this lovely cinnamon and pumpkin aroma.  Boy was I excited.  That excitement dwindled once I steeped it and took my first sip.  To say I was disappointed was an understatement.  You can barely taste any of the pumpkin.  It tastes like rooibos with some spices added.  But the rooibos is the most prominent note in this tea.  Now, I do enjoy rooibos, but I didn’t buy Pumpkin Spice just to receive rooibos.  It’s like that moment when you bite into a chocolate chip cookie only to find that it is oatmeal raisin.  You may not hate oatmeal raisin, but you were biting into what you thought was something completely different.  And I really feel that pumpkin goes better with chai than rooibos, but that may just be my preference. 

I would definitely not recommend this.  What I would recommend is Twining Pumpkin Spice Chai.  It’s a delicious blend that you can actually taste pumpkin in and it’s a staple for me during these autumn months.  Plus, it’s cheaper!

Trust issues… I now have them with Harney & Sons.

Cinnamon Apple Spice

To celebrate the coming of autumn, my mother made delectable apple turnovers with a delicious sugary glaze.  It was like a hand-held apple pie but somehow even better.  I decided that when I gobbled it down, I would do so properly.  That involved brewing up one of my autumn/winter teas.  You see, there are certain teas that you just can't have year round.  They have to be enjoyed with proper autumn/winter foods and cool weather.  I didn't have the cool weather, but I did have cimmamon-apple-baked-heaven.  Celestial Seasonings is one of those hearbal tea no-brainers.  They're inexpensive, sold in most grocery stores, and delicious!  Especially this one.  They make non-herbal teas as well, but I prefer them for herbals.  Upon opening it, your nose feels like you just entered a bakery on a cold winters day.  It smells warm and inviting like a blanket by a fire.  If you're not a tea drinker but do love apple cinnamon, then this is your new winter drink.  A slight bitterness like a fresh Granny Smith Apple accompanied by a heaping taste of cinnamon, what's not to love.  Similarly to my last review, I do wish that the weather had been cold while I indulged myself, but sadly my freshly baked turnover had a short lifespan so I had to enjoy in the AC while the Florida heat knocked at my front door.  Either way, I did enjoy this quite splendidly.  Here's to cooler night!  Cheers!

Constant Comment

Most proper tea cupboards have them.  Those little random tea bags that you've picked up along your lifes journey or that have been gifted to you, patiently waiting hidden between your boxes of tea for you to remember they exist so you can give them a try.  This one was from my last place of employment before the company closed down and I embraced my life as a housewife.  I have sampled many new teas that they supplied and the ones I didn't get a chance to try, I stashed.  It's almost been a year since I became a full time housewife, and my last employers switched hands about a year prior bringing these new teas with them so it's been nearly two years that I've had this one hidden in my tea cupboard.  I finally decided to budge and give it a try.  

It's a blend of orange rind and sweet spices so I thought perhaps it would taste a bit like Earl Grey.  I was very wrong.  The smell and taste are like a warm blend of orange and chai.  This is such a great tea to drink when it's cold out and you want to warm up while pumpkin candles are burning and the smell of pine from the tree is wafting through the house.  Makes me a little upset that I didn't wait until it got colder out.  I do live in Florida, so who knows when and if that will actually ever happen.  I would compare it to Twinings Pumpkin Spice Chai, which is one of my winter wonderland favorites.

I was pleasantly surprised by this one, since it is a Bigelow tea.  I've had very few experiences with Bigelow, but I do know of their reputation.  Some have even gone to such lengths as to say "Bigelow is for people who know nothing about tea", which is a pretty harsh statement.  I would say that Lipton is for people that know nothing about tea, but that's a given.  That being said, while I did enjoy this, and it does taste like my Twinings Pumpkin Spice Chai, I wouldn't be purchasing this since I have my Twinings.  Now if Twinings stops making Pumpkin Spice Chai, then I know where to go for my substitute. 

There's always one... (a Teavana rant blog.)

A trip to the Boca Raton Town Center Mall in West Palm Beach has a lot of treats for the upper class shoppers.  It seems that every indulgence needs a brand name that says you've made it when you treat yourself.  For a while, this mall only offered two main options for these people: Godiva for the chocolate lovers, and Starbucks for the coffee drinkers.  But what of tea drinkers?

Tea is a tradition.  It's a piece of history.  Something connecting us to a Feudal Japan and Queen Elizabeth I and many others before those points in history.  Tea leaves have been grown over a span of generations all over the world, bringing us a variety of tea leaves and completely different tea experiences.  Starbucks sold a tea, and still do, while they wait for a transition to occur.  A transition to serve their newest company buyout: Teavana.  The company that Starbucks currently sells is Tazo, a company that was founded in 1994 and sold to Starbucks in 1999.  They make an acceptable Earl Grey... and that's about it.  But this newer tea company (founded in just 1997) has been creating quite a buzz lately in a country that prided itself in throwing tea overboard as a middle-finger protest to the Brits back in our revolting days against the motherland.  I've just noticed a few issues with this company and its patrons.

At the entry way of the store are two sampling opportunities.  Sometimes one hot and one iced, sometimes both hot.  And for me - always disappointing.  I'm a purist of sorts when it comes to tea.  I don't like a whole lot of flimflam.  Just give me a proper cuppa and I'm a happy bunny.  I like my black tea black, my green tea green, and so on, with slight variants allowed to spice things up every now and then.  Teavana, though, insists on adding fruits to some of my favorite brews.  I'm not a huge fruit tea fan.  Something about it just seems amiss.  Which leads me to my first observation.  A large majority of the patrons I've talked to didn't like tea prior to Teavana and seem to not like any proper cuppas that can't be found outside of this little tea boutique.  Their target market are people who are not only new to tea, but alien to loose tea and it's preparation.  These people enter this store that seems like an initiation into the steadily growing sea of tea drinkers and come out $100+ poorer with their new tea prepping gear and teas.

And yes, tea drinking is steadily growing.  In an America where people are realizing the things that they are putting into their mouths - especially where drinks like soda are concerned - and the highly caffeinated coffees keeping them from resembling zombies throughout the day, Americans have been steadily turning on to drinking tea.  With a wide variety of caffeine free teas and the health benefits flooding day time shows where Doctors tell you what to do/eat/drink every morning it's no wonder why Starbucks saw this opportunity and took it.  Even they know that their expensive coffees are going to be met with a challenge as coffee declines and tea inclines.  I'm not saying the tea sales are going to ever even come close to matching coffee sales in America, just that people will be demanding the healthier option of tea and passing up on that cup-a-joe.  So they picked the priciest tea that has been their competition.

Teavana, as you'd expect, isn't without their faults outside of fruiting up most of their teas.  They've been judged for doubling the amount of tea they recommend you brewing for their in-store samples.  They don't tell you this in the store though which is why some angry customers have gone home to steep their new tea only for it to taste much weaker than what they just had in the store.  The employees argue that this doubling for samples is to ensure that the customer really gets a taste of the tea.  Some customers have also complained how when they purchase a tea and request one amount, the clerk over-pours past the weight they've ordered.  This is a matter of up-selling.  Much like when you order cold cuts and it goes over a little bit - only this tea is much pricier than most meats and cheeses found in even the Boar's Head part of the deli counter.  Among their pricey teas are equally pricey merchandise; like tumblers, tea sets, and kettles.  There was a recall on a particular tumbler whose glass will shatter and send scalding tea all over you.  Fun!

So things may seem fine-and-dandy for the future of Teavana, but they still have their challenges.  When broken down, the stats for tea in America are as follows:

Iced tea makes up 85% of tea consumed in America.
Of the tea brewed in America, 65% is bagged, 25% are pre-brewed (like canned iced teas), and only 10% are loose leaf.

The reason is that while Americans want to enjoy tea and all the benefits of it, we are still living in a fast paced country and they find loose leaf teas to be too time consuming when you can just throw a tea bag in a mug with some boiling water and be on your way without having to measure things out.  This Starbucks venture will presumably do all the measuring for you when you order so this will increase the client-base for Teavana by exposing their product to the Starbucks customers who will give it a go.  If I can order a basic Earl Grey by them at Starbucks, I may change my views.  But for now, I'll just stick with my Prince Vlad by Kusmi, Earl Grey Supreme by Harney & Sons, and my trusty old Twinings.  Because when it comes to a good brew, you don't always have to drain your bank account.  Cheers!

Lapsang Souchong

If you have ever wanted to know what a punch in the face feels like, then this is the tea for you!  The key word in the flavor description is "smokey" and that is the very reason why I was compelled to venture into this tea.  Usually, I can smell a tea through the box and I know what to expect.  Somehow, this tea was undetected by my nose... until I opened it.  That, my dear readers, is when the Kraken was unleashed.  It smelled of burning wood.  It smelled STRONGLY of burning wood.  That's where the punch in the face comes in - minus all the pesky blood and secret Fight Club lifestyle.  The usual beautiful aromas that you associate with a nice cuppa like the comforting and mouth-watering aroma of the bergamot in Earl Grey are replaced by Smokey the Bear's nightmares.  It gains this when the tea leaves are smoked in a bamboo basket above burning wood.  I really didn't know what to expect at this point and was certain that I was about to meet the elusive "tea I don't like" that I never thought actually existed.  I brewed it, and dove in.  Hand to Goddess, this tea wasn't nearly as strong and smokey as it smelled, which was a huge relief.  It does have a very distinct smokiness but it isn't nearly as strong as the smell is.  I also find that the taste and the smell are actually very different.  It smells like burning wood but tastes just slightly smokey and woodsy.  You can only find this one at specialty stores and online.  This was another one of my local British shoppe finds.  When I purchased it, the shoppe owner asked if I heard about it on Oprah because apparently she mentioned it and then he sold out in a week.  Being a former Barnes & Noble employee and seeing how books she mentioned flew off the shelves, I understood exactly what he was talking about.

A little warning about this tea:  It makes things in it's surrounding smell like it does.  I put one in my handbag and everything smelled like it.  I put it in my tea cupboard, and the teas near it started tasting like it.  I have since placed the little tea bags in a ziploc and put them back in the box they came in.  You can still smell it when you handle the box, but it doesn't spread like the plague anymore.

I definitely recommend this to anyone who has never had a smokey tea before.  I can actually say that I do enjoy this tea... as scary as it may smell.  Cheers!

Bentley's Oriental Treasure Green

Last Winter, I received a large variety of teas from the Holly King (aka my parents).  Among the bulk, was a sizable collection of Bentley's teas.  I know I'm always tooting Twinings horn, but this tea is a step above...usually.  They make my second favorite Earl Grey - my first being Harney & Sons Earl Grey Supreme which I could really go for about now.  Green teas are slightly harder to rank.  Every company  puts one out now but that doesn't necessarily mean that they should.  Most of the Britain based tea companies make very bland green teas, which is probably why they are so quick to flavor them with fruit.  My guess is that when everybody got on the "Green tea is healthier than having a beating heart" train they felt the need to jump on but didn't have the proper tea gardens and plantations to produce the same quality as their black teas that brought their names to the esteemed level they are at now.  This isn't a terrible green tea, but you'd think with a name like 'Oriental Treasure', they would attempt to up the ante a bit.  After trying a nice warm cup of this, I came to the conclusion that the name is meant to really sell you.  The other companies will call their green tea just that... green tea.  But not Bentley's.  They want to put into your mind that you are about to embark on the same cat-faced treasure cave as Aladdin.  They didn't really think this through though.  They forgot that you are actually going to be running it by your taste buds.  And those taste buds are going to be met by a treasure chest of disappointment.  The taste bud equivalent to a kid getting socks as a present instead of Hot Wheels.